1. Family Systems theory. The idea that
the family works as a system with specific roles that each members play. It
shows that certain relationships need boundaries. For example the marriage
should have a boundary around it, with each spouse being the most important. It
also can show us when we have things that are out of whack. A “family system”
that has boundaries that are lose have problems with their ability to bond as a
family. It can show us if there are rigid boundaries as well. It is a good way
to represent relationships visually for others to see.
2. Homosexuality. I learned so much from
this lesson in class. It really helped me to understand the issue. There were
specific traits that led to future homosexuality. They were a) a wounded gender
identity b) father hunger c) mother confusion d) inappropriate touch e)
pornography. I thought that this was really eye opening and made me want to
change the way that I raise my son to make sure that many of these traits have
no place.
3. Dating/Affection. I really thought the three T’s were a great
way to break down the
process of relationships. Time, Togetherness, and Talks all add to a good
relationship. The stages of a relationship as 1) Rapport- a harmonious and
comfortable relationship 2) Self Revelation 3) Mutual Dependency 4) Intimacy
need fulfillment. I think that this is valuable information for us as parents
and with our spouses. Understanding these processes can help us to articulate
to others what healthy relationships are. They can help us guide our children
when they begin to date and have children.
4. Daddy Involvement in pregnancy and
birth. In class the discussion was about
early transitions in marriage.. Having children actually lowers marital
satisfaction. In some ways that is not all that surprising. It slowly decreases
after each child is born, levels off and then raises again when children are
out of the house. This information however is important because we will have
this transition in our family. It is important that we make sure that we
involve dad so that we have high satisfaction even when there are children.
1) Involve Dad-ALOT
Have him come along for
doctors’ visits
Talk to him about what your
experiencing as a mom
Plan together
2) Make time for the two of you
Have a Babymoon
Go on dates once a week
Be affectionate
5. Human Sexuality. According to
research, common sense and the gospel here is how to have great sex: 1. Get
Married!!! According to various studies married people have the most satisfying
sex lives. Make sense right? There is much security and safety in a committed
and enduring relationship.2. Love your spouse more than yourself. When you are
caring more about them and focusing on them you create more happiness and love.
You literally fall in love more when you serve your spouse, and that definitely
makes making love more easy and satisfying.3. Have open lines of communication.
Not just about sex, but about everything. It is so much nicer to first share
your thoughts, and feelings before you share your bed.
4. Keep the flame alive. Keep things romantic with yourselves. Write each
other love notes. Send flirty texts. Compliment your spouse. Date each other.
6. Affairs. I think that this was a very
important and relevant lesson in our lives. It is so easy to slip into one and
not be aware of it because we know that we are not having intimacy, but there
are ways to have one without having sexual intimacy, and all are wrong. The
types of affairs are fantasy, visual, sexual, romantic. They all involve separating
our heart from our partner and are damaging to the marriage.
7.
The Magic Five
Hours. I really loved this concept and have adopted it into my own marriage and
have had great success in doing so. I think it is wonderful for creating
intimacy within the marriage. Partings-Take 2 min a day, 5 days a week
before one of you leaves for work. This is making special one on one time
before you leave for the day. Reunions- Spend 20 min reuniting 5 days a
week. Admiration and Appreciation-Spend 5 minutes, seven days a week
communicating your admiration for one another. Affection-Spend 5 minutes
a day, 7 days a week sharing affection outside of sexual intimacy. Date-
Have a two hour date a week spending time together and sharing. Make sure it is
a prepared, planned, and paired off
8.
Counseling with
our Councils. Family Meetings are vital
for further family unity and for good communication. It creates intimacy within
the family. It helps all of the family members to feel as if they are important
and that their opinions are important and worthwhile. Councils help to bring about change. They
help us each to come to a solution as a family. To start our council we have to
first have an agenda. One way to do this
is to have a blank sheet of paper on the fridge and have family members write
at will topics that they wish to discuss. Once an agenda is completed there
needs to be a pre meeting. Mom and Dad need to come together and meet to figure
out what topics they are going to discuss and how they should present the
ideas. Then it is time for the real council or meeting. The schedule should be
like this 1. Express Love to Each Other2.
Opening Prayer 3. Discuss Topics 4. Closing Prayer 5. Refreshments. Even the
youngest children in the family should be allowed to contribute. When we have
decisions to make that concern the family we should not forget to council with
the Lord. I think if when we have our opening prayer, if we can consecrate our
meeting to Him we can more fully understand His will. One major thing about the
council is that nothing moves forward without a complete consensus. Everyone
has to be on board. I think that this can be a blessing in our home if we use it
properly. We can create a home that can become a force for good. We can become
unified and we can become more productive. I feel that this truly can bless our
lives if we use it appropriately.
9.
Blended Families.
When trying to blend two families together many of us don't realize how
difficult that can be. In the media divorced families are most often not
displayed accurately. Shows like Reba for example are just not the norm when it
comes to mixing two households. However there is lots of research that can help
us as we try to create a home. 1. Realize that it takes about two years (on
average) to create some kind of normalcy within the family 2. Let the original
birth parent do most of the heavy discipline 3. The new stepparent should be
having a role similar to an aunt or uncle in the beginning 4. Coordinate and
Counsel together as a married behind closed doors about how to precede 5. Focus
on your Marriage-don't forget to take time to cultivate and work on your
marriage together especially if you are newlyweds. Cherish that time of getting
to know each other and bond. I think that it is important that in trying to
create a blended family or really any family that we focus first on our
marriage. That is truly the most important relationship that we will ever have
in this life. Parenthood is a wonderful thing, but it is temporary compared to
a marriage. I truly feel that if we put our marriage first that we other parts
of our family will fall into place.
10.
I
think the most important thing that I have taken from this class is an ability
to look and analyze systems and research that can help to benefit my family.
This class has helped me to have better confidence in my own ability to be a
parent and to make a difference in my home. I have more of a desire to be a
productive member of my family. I am more confident because I have been given
tools to analyze and look at information and to use the spirit while I am
making my decisions. I also have a strong testimony of the importance of the family. There truly is no other organization more important and vital to each person.
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