The Democracy of Decisions

Family Meetings are vital for further family unity and for good communication. It creates a intimacy withing the family. It helps all of the family members to feel as if they are important and that their opinions are important and worthwhile.  Councils help to bring about change. They help us each to come to a solution as a family. To start our council we have to first have an agenda.

One way to do this is to have a blank sheet of paper on the fridge and have family members write at will topics that they wish to discuss. Once an agenda is completed there needs to be a pre meeting. Mom and Dad need to come together and meet to figure out what topics they are going to discuss and how they should present the ideas. Then it is time for the real council or meeting. The schedule should be like this

1. Express Love to Each Other

2. Opening Prayer

3. Discuss Topics

4. Closing Prayer 

5. Refreshments

Even the youngest children in the family should be allowed to contribute. When we have decisions to make that concern the family we should not forget to council with the Lord. I think if when we have our opening prayer, if we can consecrate our meeting to Him we can more fully understand His will. One major thing about the council is that nothing moves forward without a complete consensus. Everyone has to be on board. I think that this can be a blessing in our home if we use it properly. We can create a home that can become a force for good. We can become unified and we can become more productive. I feel that this truly can bless our lives if we use it appropriately. 

The Mess of Stress

Stress happens, to everyone. Everyone has some kind of strain in their family at some point. Whether it is the death of a loved one, an addiction, or even just fighting everyone has it at some point. So what can we do when our families experience stress?
1. Realize that there is a problem-so much of our problems stem from not acknowledging the elephant in the room. This is the first step to solving our problem.
2. Lean on each other-that is what family is for! We are there to rely on one another, especially in marriage. We should be able to turn to each other for comfort.
3. Stop saying you can't handle the problem-you are never going to work through the crisis if we are so caught up with the fact they we can't handle. We have to be able to have the mental mindset of fixing the problem, and we cant do that if our mouth is saying something else.
4. Counsel together (see next post)
5. Look to God- for hope, help and healing.

How to Have Great Sex

According to research, common sense and the gospel here is how to have great sex:

1. Get Married!!! According to various studies married people have the most satisfying sex lives. Make sense right? There is much security and safety in a committed and enduring relationship.
2. Love your spouse more than yourself. When you are caring more about them and focusing on them you create more happiness and love. You literally fall in love more when you serve your spouse, and that definitely makes making love more easy and satisfying.
3. Have open lines of communication. Not just about sex, but about everything. It is so much nicer to first share your thoughts, and feelings before you share your bed.
4. Keep the flame alive. Keep things romantic with yourselves. Write each other love notes. Send flirty texts. Compliment your spouse. Date each other.

Jefferey R. Holland in his wonderful talk Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments said this about marital intimacy, 

"May I suggest that human intimacy, that sacred, 

physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals 

with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of 

love between a man and a woman is — or certainly was 

ordained to be — a symbol of total union: union of their 

hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their 

future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest 

in the temple with a word like seal."

Baby Bumps in the Road

In class the discussion was about early transitions in marriage. I would like to focus on one transition, having children. Having children actually lowers marital satisfaction.In some ways that is not all that surprising. It slowly decreases after each child is born, levels off and then raises again when children are out of the house. So what can we do to help our marriages be satisfying even when we have those "Baby Bumps in the Road."
1) Involve Dad-ALOT
     Have him come along for doctors visits
     Talk to him about what your experiencing as a mom
     Plan together
2) Make time for the two of you
    Have a Babymoon
    Go on dates once a week
    Be affectionate